What a week

It's been a crazy week. Brian graduated from STLCOP on May 17! Now he is just waiting for his paperwork to come back so he can sign up to take the boards. Once he's licensed he will train as a pharmacist at Wal-Mart and float, once he's comfortable. He'll do that until October...when he will be starting with the Federal Prison in Springfield, as long as all of his paperwork goes through. Needless to say, Saturday May 17 was a great day! Then came Sunday May 18...when Brian and I got to his house we found out that his Grandmother on his mom's side (the one who lived with them for many years) passed away unexpectedly. She was in a Nursing Home for rehab after having back surgery 3 weeks earlier and was doing great. She had been at a church service and wheeled herself back to her room in a wheelchair. When one of the Nursing Home workers went to check on her she was gone. It has been hard watching him, because he is just torn to pieces. He told me yesterday that he just feels numb...like it didn't happen...it's surreal. I completely understand how he feels...I've been through it too. Anyway...her funeral was last week on Thursday in Farmington...and I was fortunate enough that my Principal let me off for the two days Brian and his parents would be in Farmington.

Well, as much as I hate to go, I must finish getting ready for work...it's the last Tuesday of this school year!! I'm ready to be finished with my first year.

Thinking too much?

It's 5 am and I've been awake for about 3 hours. I woke up to the wind outside the house blowing like crazy...no big deal. I started thinking about a few things I need to do...again, no big deal. I wrote down my "to do" list and got back into bed. I listened to some music and tried to go back to sleep. Here I am 3 hours later, unable to sleep because I'm thinking about anything and everything. There is so much going on right now that I don't even know where to start. I don't know what to do. I feel very lost in so many ways. It's not just work either...usually it has to do with that, but not all of it does this time. A majority of my thinking is work related and things I need to do for that, but a small amount of my thoughts are not work related. Brian and I are looking into a fairly big investment in our lives...and I'm super excited about it, but I'm also nervous. We have our hopes up...and I'm afraid we'll be disappointed. I hope I'm wrong. I'm not going to say what this big investment is for various reasons...in time I will let the cat out of the bag. His Grandma isn't doing very well. She had surgery and it went great. She was released to a nursing home and they're screwing up her medicine. My Grandma had surgery the same day his did. Her surgery went well too. She went home and Grandpa took her back to the hospital because her blood pressure was going up. The hospital he took her too was concerned and said she needed to be near the heart specialist and they transported her to a hospital about 2 hours from where they were. She is okay, she went home the next day...which my loving parents forgot to tell me. I found out when Mom was talking to Opa on the phone. Opa is having a hard time right now with the wedding coming up. This is the first big thing in our family since Oma passed away. He sent me a check for my bridal shower and told mom he was going to because Oma would have been there and given me something. He broke down as he was saying it. I'm afraid that one of my Grandparents or one of Brian's Grandparents won't be able to make it to the wedding...I know it would crush me to not have them there, and I'm sure it would crush him as well.

I miss my Oma...and as the Wedding day gets closer I am really realizing that she isn't going to be there to see me walk down the aisle. I know she will be there in spirit, but I always imagined my wedding day with all four of my grandparents being there. I know that she's in a better place and she's not in pain anymore...and it's selfish of me...but I miss her and wish she was still here. I know it's a part of life, but that doesn't make it any easier.

Well I'm done for now...

Time is flying

It's hard to believe that in a little over a month Brian and I will be standing in front of our family and friends saying, "I do." I'm extremely excited! I had my Bridal Shower on Sunday and got some great stuff! Brian and I have been working on our invitations...and it has been a huge pain in the butt. I will be glad when those are out of my hands and in the mail...and hopefully that will be tomorrow. Well I need to finish getting ready for work, so that's all for now.