The more time that goes by the more I think. I think about Spring Break and how beautiful Alaska is. I think about how I want to move there and see more. I think about how even though I am told what a great job I am doing at work, that my heart just isn't in it anymore. I used to have this huge desire to teach. Now, well, that desire seems to be gone. I find myself thinking about how I can't wait to not have to work. It sounds horrible, I know. I don't know what is going on right now. I am pretty sure it is just the first year teacher stress, plus the stress of being a special services teacher, and the added stress of planning a wedding. I find myself thinking of other careers I could go into. There is nothing that jumps out at me the way that teaching did. Once Brian and I decide to start a family I want to be a stay at home mom, so I keep thinking about that as well. That could be a way to not have to go back next year...but I know I have several young ladies expecting me to be there and support them. I can't let them down, they have had a lot of that. There hasn't been very much consistency in their lives as guard members. I want the program to have some more consistency to get it built back up. It needs that. So, I will stay for at least another year or two. By then Brian and I will be close to possibly moving to Alaska.
